Steroids: What's Your Excuse?

During a mid day email discussion, a few friends and I got to thinking about how Jason Giambi took a lot of heat a couple of years back when he admitted to using steroids, but in hindsight he looks like the smart classy guy with all of the recent news on steroid use.

So what are the other guys' excuses when they get hit with it instead of admitting their guilt like Giambi?

So here you go:

Bonds’ defense “why does everyone hate me? Is this because im black? Blame the media”

Clemens’ defense “but my wife was doing it”

Rafael Palmeiro’s defense “tejada said it was a vitamin”

Tejada’s defense “me no understando”

Mike Cameron’s defense “I could’ve sworn when I read the bottle, it said ‘supplement’.” Stay in school kids, reading is fun!

Ed Hochuli’s Defense “I was not aware they started testing NFL officials”

Greg Maddux’s defense “look at me, I have a wine-gut. Im fat! You think im on steroids?” ***definitely not a steroid user.

Giles defense "I'm a leadoff hitter now"

M. Giles Defense "I'm too short and my chin was never as big as my brothers"

T Gwynn's Defense "Does KFC test their chicken?"

Lenny Dykstra "I thought it was chew"

Rosey Odonnell "I'm actually a man"

Benito Santiago "Its not illegal in Puerto Rico.......what? It's a US territory?........well i can still throw you out from my knees"

Chuck Knoblach’s excuse: “I couldn’t even throw it from second to first any more.”

Gregg Zaun: “Even Matt Wheatland was striking me out.”

David Justice: “At least I still made the People Magazine’s 50 most Beautiful people…you don’t see Sammy Sosa on that shit”

Eric Gagne’s defense “I took steroids and im still gay”

Rick Ankiel’s defense “I used to be a pitcher and now im a power hitter?!?! Oh screw it, ‘im Rick James Bitch!’”

Jose Canseco’s defense “Steriods is my middle name”

Bill clinton’s defense “I did not have performance enhancing relations with that drug, Viagra”

Allen Iverson’s defense “Are we talking about steroids? Steriods? Are we talking about a game or steroids?”

Don’t hate me for this one… but I think it’s the best so far…

Ken Caminiti’s defense “they said this stuff was better than coke, fuckin liars”

Got anything else?

Thanks to The Baseball Almanac for the Cartoon.